By: Wendy Finney

Over 6.25 million Americans utilize support groups at any given time and over 15 million will participate in a support group within their lifetime. Traditionally, support groups are small in size and are led by either a professional or someone who is well established in their recovery. Historically, they are held locally within various communities; however, since the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of these groups are now available online. This shift has greatly impacted an individual’s ability to find and utilize group support. Where someone was once limited to a group in their hometown and at a specific time, they now have access to groups around the world. These groups are in different time zones, various peer formats, large or small in size, and can be found in languages other than English; thus making it ideal for individuals seeking support in their native culture. This shift also affords individuals who reside in small towns a great sense of personal anonymity should they desire that in their community.

Support groups versus therapy group
A support group is often a peer-led group that offers individuals a sense of belonging, a place to discuss specific experiences, gain advice from peers, exchange ideas for recovery skills, and work on finding a sense of community and recovery. Support groups are typically free to attend, or they may ask for a small donation to cover incidental costs such as coffee, or space rental. There is no limit to the number of support groups an individual may attend. Support groups are NOT therapy groups where underlying thoughts and issues are discussed and processed in depth.
Group therapy is run by a licensed practitioner, and it is typically process-oriented, guided discussion, or skills-based in nature. It is often a limited number of sessions, and while it is less expensive than traditional talk therapy, there is a fee associated with group therapy. Many times, this fee can be billed to insurance to help assist with cost.

Why are support groups so important?
We know that eating disorders thrive in secrecy and shame. Those who struggle find that the eating disorder takes up more and more of their time and their identity. As the disease progresses, individuals lose all the moments that bring them joy and fulfillment; instead, those moments are tainted by thoughts of food, weight, shame, and fear. As such, individuals often begin to isolate even more from those around them. They begin to believe that their entire worth is determined by the eating disorder thoughts and behaviors.
Support groups offer a space where individuals who are struggling can come together and share those thoughts and fears with others who are going through the same, or similar, lived experiences. For some individuals, they may find that being able to talk openly and honestly about their experiences without fear of judgement and having those experiences heard and validated by someone else who has walked the same path can provide a hope they had never considered. They can feel heard, understood, and validated. For other individuals, hearing a survivor speak about going through the hard times, trusting the process, and coming out in a place of recovery may offer a perspective they had never thought possible. Support groups also offer individuals a chance to make real-world connections; to open up and build psychological and social relationships that will enhance their recovery process. Within these connections, individuals are also often able to find accountability partners for meals or eating disorder behaviors. Sharing that accountability fosters a sense of self-care and caring for another, widens the individual’s viewpoint and experience, and builds compassion and self-confidence. It often allows group members to see recovery through the eyes of another and that enhances their self-worth.

Support Groups for Families and Loved Ones
When we talk about eating disorders and the role of support groups, it is important to note that groups can be extremely beneficial for both the individual who is struggling with the eating disorder and for the family/friends who are supporting them. Just as the support group helps build connections and pathways to recovery for someone struggling, it can help many parents and spouses who feel alone in the process of recovery. They are often uncertain what to say to their child or loved one. The role of the support group is to provide a space where they can talk through their concerns with others who are in similar situations and receive valuable feedback and support. This can be especially useful when a parent or spouse is struggling with the admission to a higher level of care for their loved one. Too many times we hear, this is my loved one’s illness, not mine. In reality, the eating disorder impacts the entire family system; making the role of the support group just as valuable to the family as it is to the one who struggles.

What to look for in a support group:
How do you know what to look for when joining a group? There are a few simple questions that might help narrow down your search:

1. What type of group do you want? Do you want a peer-led group by someone in recovery or a group that may also afford you the chance to become a peer leader down the road? Do you want a 12-step group or a group that is not 12-step? Do you want a group that is small or large in meeting size (A small group may feel less overwhelming for those who are new; however, it can also add pressure to interact for those who are new and shy. A large group might feel overwhelming to connect with others and to be seen and heard; however, it can feel like there is less pressure to interact).
2. Do you want a secondary support focus? Many groups can also provide a specific support need for those who may be in certain populations or age groups, such as LGBTQIA, BIPOC, college students, individuals over 30, or diagnosis specific.
3. Do you want in-person or virtual? Do you only want groups in your area or are you open to virtual groups that may fit your work and social schedule?
4. How frequently do you want to do support groups? No matter how many times you meet, consistency is key. Look for groups that fit your schedule so that you can attend regularly. Group members really do get to know each other and often become like a second family. Attending regularly helps build bonds and trust among all members.
5. Most importantly, don’t judge on session one. Making the choice to attend group is hard and scary. Being vulnerable doesn’t come easy to anyone. Sometimes it is best to give yourself a goal for three to five groups in a row. The first two are often tainted by nerves, the third and fourth may be the eating disorder noise crying out, and by visit five or six, you may know if the group isn’t right for you. If it isn’t a good fit, don’t give up. There are many other support group options out there.

Finally, as someone who has attended groups and led groups, I encourage you to give yourself the grace to seek out a group and the courage to attend a group. Recovery is a journey best shared by others and I promise, recovery is possible and worth it.

Online Links to Find Support Groups:
National Alliance for Eating Disorders Support Groups
National Eating Disorders Support Groups
ANAD Support Groups
Eating Recover Center Support Groups
Center for Change Family Support Group
VERY Health online support communities